in a pre-practice interview, Long had remarked “this edible aint shit, im gonna eat another”

Typo. He meant corpse.

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

And like Dallas, Brandy’s not gonna get a ring any time soon.

He should do another made up team like the “Houston Texans” next.

i just learned that it is possible to feel deep personal empathy for boogie at the same time as i feel intense schadenfreude for the organization which employs him

Best swimming stroke? Hopefully the stroke Mitch McConnell suffers in the deepest part of the pool.

“How am I supposed to explain two women holding hands to my triathlete children?”

COYE

The ITU cited a rule that penalizes athletes who cook up a “contrived tie situation,”

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

We won’t progress as a society until we all refer to the Titans in the same diminutive style we use to refer to the Pats and Jags. LET’S GO TITS!

Truth be told, 90% of why I might comment on a soccer story is so I can eventually make up some fictitious 4th division English team names. 

+1 for making me chuckle at those club names, but not being sure if they’re made up

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

If the city is going to actually own the stadium, though, that doesn’t seem unreasonable.

No it isn’t, shut up.

Any place called HAM LAKE should be the Nation’s capital at the very least. 

“-Randy and Tammy, MAGA turds from the northern suburbs who have a pickup truck value that exceeds their home value and took money out of Braedyn and Kymlynn’s college fund to renew their season tickets but “aren’t sure” if they’re going to still support the NFL if players keep kneeling”