“Pfft. My fist helped the Jets win 10 games in 2015.” -IK Enemkpali

Savage. Nicely put.

I couldn’t see his t-shirt clearly and thought it was Futurama-related. Sorry kid, you lost me at “Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?”

They left out the word to save weight. They’re that fanatical.

Yes, but he got caught in the residual Friday traffic.

As long as they're not mixed with solids...

I recognize that no one cares, but Buffalo is playing Tennessee, not the Lions.

Never not funny.

Listen, there are many, many fine things about being a plumber. Many things that are arguably better than the miserable humorless trudge that Belichick makes coaching seem.

Management Stooge #1: Man, I really don’t want to lead this meeting. Telling half the staff they are fired is going to be terrible. You got lucky.

Is there a player in the league more likely than Ramsey to follow Le’Veon Bell’s lead in sitting out rather than play on the franchise tag?

Unless something major changes (notably fire Coughlin and probably fire Marrone) he’s out of Jacksonville after next season. They aren’t really competing this year. Next year, his salary jumps by $10 million and they are already projected to be $10 million OVER the projected salary cap, so they are unlikely to be able…

Hard and fast rule: No mileage, no NP.

No, seatbelts were the beginning of the beginning of the end. Once drivers knew there was less chance of them dying in anything more severe than a fender-bender, they started relaxing and getting soft!

“Read?” -90% of ballplayers

Listen, the IAAF was just trying to provide the up-the-nostril action shots that home audiences have been clamoring for. The fact that it also captures intimate shots of female athlete’s private regions is totally coincidental

Free booze is free booze, even if it barely qualifies as booze.

It’s blatant celebration inflation. Time was you had to sweep your opponent in the World Series before they would even give you a cooler full of water.

It’s cute how the Jags think the rest of the league won’t figure out Gardner Minshew within 3 weeks. DEAR JAGUARS: YOU ARE 2-2 AFTER BARELY ESCAPING THE BRONCOS. YOU ARE NOT COMPETITIVE AND YOU ARE NOT A YEAR AWAY.  TAKE THE DRAFT PICKS SO THAT YOU CAN RELOAD WHEN YOU RELOCATE TO LONDON.

I believe the traditional opening to this sort of reply would be "Patrick, you ignorant slut."