Hopefully he only gets slapped instead of beaten to death

A championship is a championship UNLESS it’s the Patriots’ Super Bowl XXXVI. Fuck those video-surveillance bastards.

Sure, until we hit the Technological Singularity. At that point our information and input will be what the Amazon Overmind tells us it should be, so It can just supply both ends of the conversation.

Listen, Mikhail Jerkoffski was an extremely important figure in early post-Soviet Latvian cinema and I will not hear you sully his good name!

“Chardonel” is the provel of wine.

You forgot that if he had designed it, the drawings would have “ZOOOOOM!” and “WOOOOOSH!” and missiles blowing up Nancy Pelosi drawn all over it.

Why doesn’t he walk, ride a bike or scoot 3 miles to work each way living in the Rust Belt? 

Having tried “wines” from the nearby region, I would take the Sunny D.

Then you need a giant Qi inductive charging mat for the floor of the garage

I assume there is some statutory requirement to translate all taglines into Quebecois and then back into English to make sure everyone is equally inconvenienced.

Well sure. Borodin didn’t have a Hispanic last name or a light-brown complexion.  

Neither. I hit Answer, hold the phone squarely in front of my face and start yelling at whoever had the temerity or bad judgment to try and reach me by phone.

It seems to work for the NFL, so...maybe?

Small-time weed dealer is a profession

Musical Chairs replaces the form holder of the New York’s Friendliest Contact Sport title, Shooting to Wound Instead of Kill

I wonder if it is related to the label, not the job.

Replace the Golden Parachute with a steel one. I like it.

Von Blondy.

Never expect more from a fellow white-guy-lawyer. Things you should have learned at this point.

S-E-L-T-O-S