BENJAMIN FRANKLIN IS KILLIN’ THE GAME!

One of my favorite sports stats (and I may not have the exact time period correct, but all else is):

From 2001-04, Barry Bonds’ OBP was at least .515. That means that, for four consecutive seasons, Barry Bonds got on base more often than he didn’t. That’s fucking insane.

Bad Kinja.

“You’re not following Cardinal Way.”

I’ve been reading Simmons since the Digital City/AOL days, and I think the jump-the-shark moment was when Kimmel dragged him out to Los Angeles and Simmons finally got to be the Hollywood hanger-on/famous-person-wannabe that was his gods-given destiny in life. He’s not a guy that handles fame well, either his own or…

I know the prevailing opinion is that simmons was/is a douche, and being such a homer was at times annoying, I have to say I love his columns. Strictly because they are entertaining, and he is only a little older than me, so most of his references are right up my ally. He’s a fanboy who writes in the style of fanboys,…

Simmons may be something of a blowhard these days, but his writing is still great when he wants it to be, and he’s at least somewhat self-aware of his own ego. Taking ESPN’s side would be like rooting for the Joker because you’re pissed at Harvey Dent.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT TAKE. CLEARLY NO ONE ANY GOOD HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW FOR FIFTEEN YEARS! JOE PISCOPO 4 EVA!!!!

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

I have seen comic sans in a resume. It was for a front end dev position so I assumed it was some sort of meta joke. But it was not.

Like sexual intercourse between two humans, Baseball is a game of rhythm and inches. Your greatest adversaries are your own mind and body. Both may include spitting.

This is Jose Canseco and a thesaurus.

These read like a very strong attempt to pass the Turing test.

This is hilarious, but my favorite part by far is at the very beginning when she drinks from the glass then does the dancing, arm twirling thing EXACTLY like the real FNL wife.

I wish I had a camp.

Funny you should mention the ol’ floorshitter...

I heard she pooped on the floor once.

Can we admit at some point that Arte Moreno isn’t a good owner and he’s actually not a “different breed of owner” either?