"Eli, here are the balls you requested for today's game. Pick 6"

both of the "motherfuckers" quoted above are actually "y'alls."

nah, the most punk rock thing ever was that girl in L7 taking out her tampon and throwing it in the crowd at Reading.

I feel like I know you from somewhere...

You guys are losing your touch. It took 5 whole minutes before a Penn St. apologist came here screaming "HE REPORTED IT TO THE AUTHORITIES!"

The decision to vacate the wins was nearly two and a half years old, so it comes as no surprise that Penn State completely fucked it.

"Football was more important to them than saving children."

The fake signs were funny, Tim, but why did you include the real Darren Wilson one in there?

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

So what's left for him?

the complete first season of the original Batman television show on DVD, and a fuuuuuckingLed Zeppelin CD.

In conjunction with the announcement, the Hall of Very Good released a statement of their own, asking if they could please be left out of this, for once.

Not that the Pro Bowl matters...but DeAndre Levy was also a pretty damn big snub. He's 3rd in the NFL with 140 total tackles and leads the league with 109 solo stops. Also, Golden Tate probably deserved the nod over Calvin Johnson this year, which is saying something.

It would have been video of me fainting.

Of course he'd let the game get tied, he loves kissing his sister.

As a Devil's fan this actually makes me genuinely sad. You either die a decent goaltender or live long enough to become Toskala

Just don't forget about all those selfish college athletes who want to ruin the entire experience by demanding some form of compensation, and were they to be paid, would obviously bring the whole system crashing down. Jimbo's going to have to lay some law down on those kids, teach them that the glory of the game is…

So, would it be fair to say that this article has helped Darren Rovell's brand?