Some insane names I would love to use as middle names for children, but have been vetoed by Monsieur…

Not a complete list without Gerald Green somewhere on it. My favorite:

jup13: [goes outside]

Congratulations! With this comment, you have officially claimed the title of "Lamest Motherfucker on the Internet." Please send your address to tips@deadspin.com, so that we may send you your prize: a JanSport backpack full of dicks.

Just like the old saying goes: "'I' before 'E' except after 'C' and don't you dare put a motherfucking 'K' after that shit either or I'll murder the fuck outta you."

I am old and out of touch, but it's hard for me to take "throws up gang signs in photos" as serious evidence when stuff like this exists.

Presented without farther comment

Schaffer wasn't even supposed to be there today.

Rollins Banned

C'mon Barry. I think we can all agree that when it comes to toughness, hockey players like Clint Malarchuk are definitely a cut above the rest. Guys like Kevin Ware really don't have a leg to stand on here.

Not "commited" to spell check

What the fuck is this abortion of a comment system?

Chef Keith: So what I am going to do now is take some leftover spaghetti noodles, add some of this chili and then cover with a whole lot of cheese.

+315 lbs.

I remember a few years back a fake football player also made the rounds on a bunch of shows, and then the Raiders drafted him first overall.

Huh? I thought this got bots excited:

One source says the other guy had been harassing Aaron nonstop.

I'm pretty sure this chart's methodology is flawed. Kentuckians were just describing the science behind childbirth.

Worse than this?

You just know that little girl's going to grow up to be such a Diva(c).