I honestly do not know if this is satire.

I don’t know you personally, but if you are a straight white male then statically speaking you are more likely to have an easier go of it.

The vast majority of actual black people mock idiots like you.

If Barsanti doesn’t mention that he’s #withher, they’ll take away his dental coverage.

It could definitely happen.  Honestly, it’s too early in the season to know for sure, but we can already tell that Bradley Cooper will be in the conversation as well.

How have identity politics been working out so far?

In all three cases it’s true. We don’t know what happened.

I recommend masturbating!

You’ve never done stand up, have you?

Well, Louis CK did ten minutes on a Sunday and the internet lost their goddamn mind. So I’d presume that his comeback will certainly not be an easy and chill thing. 

I hope that the film ends with Nick Fury asking climate change to join the Avenger’s Initiative.

True. Also, their obsession with panache kind of screwed them. If they had just shot Hank he’d be dead, but they had to use the axe. Also, they rely on the element of surprise and gus screwed them out of that by calling Hank.

He undeniably did some fucked up stuff.

I might be. I’m wrong about stuff all the time, and welcome being corrected.

I’ll be offering my own person one gun salute

That movie is Match Point and if you think the dude in question is the good guy I feel like you’re either greatly misunderstanding the point of the movie or I am.

Man people accused him of grooming Soon Yi Previn.

She did this before.  I forget the exact context, but she said a man was guilty of something.  I pointed out in the comments that the accusations were alleged and she got all pissy and changed it.  I’m a tiny, bitter, shitty little man but it did feel good.

First off, calm down. Secondly, yeah violence against women is terrible. I hope it would go without saying that women shouldn’t ever have to deal with that.

Not 100%. There has been one accusation of criminal behavior - he was accused of molesting his daughter, Dylan. It’s a complicated accusation, with a lot of stuff that doesn’t add up. Doesn’t mean he didn’t do it, although many people close to the case (including his eldest son Moses) claim the charges were invented.