specificity what specificity hahaha this is just a general observation

Huh. “Give your dick to me” sounds less like a sexual invitation, and more like she has some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

That is not correct French horn-playing posture!

Looks like one of those ones that's too big to get all the way hard. Like it would collapse under its own weight.

I get that it’s meant to be sexy or impressive or whatever but ultimately a middle-ish aged man standing in front of a mirror in his underpants and socks, holding his own dick just reads as depressing to me. That is a melancholy moment. Excessive hashtags make this seem sadder.

As a penis- haver, I’m going out on a limb (or a baby’s arm clutching an apple, as it were) and say that is not a real dick.

I respect the shit out of you for admitting you love Kim. High five. I don’t. but it’s like saying you like Nickelback. Being able to say it is pretty heavy metal.

Kanye is the guy who came to my Farmer’s Market stand once. My boss and I were happily sampling honey and along comes a dude. He asks for the price of an Acacia jar, which was tiny and $20 because acacia honey is expensive. He pointed out a couple leaving with a different jar of honey and claimed he heard us telling…

Yep. Geography fail. Should read “just south of the state line.” Between that and the he/she mixup in graf 2, this story needs a quick edit.

It was during the 2012 presidential election campaigns that I suddenly came upon the horrifying realization that all of the young people in my extended family and their friends were basing their entire political belief systems and worldviews on a vulgar, albeit often hilarious, cartoon. I think I tried once to explain…

I’m curious if the crush who made the nasty “joke” about not being able to see you in a darkened cinema was a black dude? Somehow I assume so. Sad but true that black men can be extremely judgmental about shades of blackness where white men don’t make such distinctions.

I hate to tell you this, but all women get hit on more when they travel. The reason is simple - a traveling woman is a low risk, high reward target.

You wrote this better than Albert, so +1

He [Donald Trump] gets South Park—its cheap spite, its self-congratulation, the fantasy that privileged scorn for political correctness is subversive, rather than the exact opposite—better than the Pauls ever did...

It kind of sucks that of all characters, Noah was the one who didn’t have an arc.
(I’ll show myself out, thanks.)

Pretty horrible, but sums up what many Hilary supporters believe. Somehow because I’m a woman I should be voting for Hilary because she’s one as well. Or I’m sexist because I don’t vote for Hilary. Everyone wants to talk about BernieBros, but Clinton supporters are just as bad (if not worse) when it comes to these…

Even if Snyder goes down in flames (if that actually happens), the philosophy he espouses is still prevalent in other states. When will Congress and state legislatures realize that cutting budgets have consequences? That at some point you’re done cutting fat, and you’re destroying muscle and bone?

Dammit, I came here hoping for a Mariah Carey-esque tour rider. Bernie doesn’t like busy patterns. He also wants 20 white kittens and 100 white doves to be released when he goes on stage for the debate.

If you’re working somewhere as a 26-year old that also employs 17-year olds, you probably have other issues to worry about.