So now can I get my latte with 30 shots of syrup?

I swear there’s a law of guacamole that no matter how much you make, only 3-4 avocados-worth will get eaten before it goes brown and people stop eating. So even at a party, you’d only maybe get 25 oz of guac from a 100-oz avocado.

If you’re going to give kids THC-laced candy, wouldn’t you want them to be around so you can make fun of them in an hour or two? Sending them away with expensive AF drug-candy would take all the fun out of it.

Honestly, I’m a little surprised Tic-Tacs haven’t been discontinued. It’s probably been 15 years or more since I’ve had one and at least 20 since I’ve bought any.

For some reason, this reminds me of the controversy a few years ago when people were shocked to find out the lambskin used to make Ugg boots required killing the lamb. No, you can’t just shave off their skin, folks. It’s very much attached.

Dammit. Sexy Mitch McConnell shoots down all my good ideas. I’m starting to think he doesn’t want me to come to dress up as anything for Halloween.

It’s true. Just wait til everyone sees my Sexy Chuck Schumer costume.

Doubtful. But as someone who lives at least 1,000 miles away from a Bojangles, I’d love to see Popeye’s try.

Polar is objectively the best seltzer, and I refuse to accept anything different.

I try not to judge. I mean, we all got at least one regrettable haircut in the early ‘90s, right?

So like a possum-bunny-deer?

Seems like the venison of the outback would be more accurate.

If feel like you don’t have to be especially smart or liberal to come up with a better answer than this.

You and me both.

This is the kind of content I need. Thank you.

Personally, I’d argue that Popeye’s has the better chicken, but Bojangles is the better restaurant.

Considering their lack of loyalty, Bojangles better pray Popeye’s doesn’t introduce a breakfast chicken biscuit.

I’m a little surprised North Carolinians would betray their beloved Bojangles like that.

That’s part of what I like about seriouseats.com/recipes

Time to activate the House Sergeant at Arms and start throwing these fucklechucks in jail.