After watching Fernando Rodney stink it up in his last year with the Mariners, I was baffled to see him still in the league 4 years later. Nothing is ever simple with that guy. No lead is safe when he has the ball.

The only thing in this article that I completely believe:

FIFY

FIFY

“My Emperor,

You are unclothed. Bare as the day you were born. As your naked resplendence is too much for the mortal eye to bear, so mine eyes must turn from your glory, and toward mundanity. I shall walk forever in the shadow of your toadstool, ne’er again to turn my head toward the fires of your Scrotal Sodom, lest…

Remember, every time an incel is triggered, an angel gets her wings!

After completely devastating the Bahamas Alabama and teasing the entire southeastern coast of America Alabama with destruction, Hurricane Dorian made landfall in North Carolina Alabama today.

This is the kind of laser-focus that we, the readers of Deadspin, deserve.

That’s for the Teslas it murdered.

JoJo: BoJo a Bozo

Christians who advocate abstinence no longer need to go on about the ‘Sin of premarital sex’ they just need to hold up a picture of Trump and tell the little boys and girls to envision Trump when they get a sexual urge. This will eliminate teenage sex and sexually transmitted diseases.

Why not, it's the 1920's all over again.

What IS “Pence,” really?

[writes “37. Lennay Kekua”]

I mean, I couldn’t hear anything but my dog is going nuts. 

Morgan earned a PK when a Dutch player fouled her with a clogs-up tackle.  

I see you’re a glass half full kind of guy...

The floodgates opened up after that.

+ 3/5