Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Not sure anything is ever found alive in the LA river. 

Something about those dark green A’s jerseys attracts iconic outfield assists.

McDonald’s order is ready to pick up.

“And the Russian Women’s Team is invited to celebrate in my hotel room at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton.”

So, we won’t be trying that mirroring shit on you now, is that right?

Patella: a well-known Spanish dish made with rice, crustaceans, clams and flavored with saffron.

On a dark Russian highway,

But seriously - even if it gets suppressed, it’s going to leak right?

Foster care? Well of course they are out of control.

I also called him “Fag,” but that’s only because he’s long and thin like a British cigarette, don’tcha know.

He’s a patriot, but the timestamp will tell us if he’s a minuteman.

What if I told you that not all Patriots can stand up and salute?

Rich people are a minority so you were just angry at the wrong minorities. Misplaced ire is all the rage these days!

College admission/donation price tags have gotten so high that uber-rich doesn’t cut it anymore. You have to be super-ultra-mega-rich. It’s so unfair- that’s why we need to cut taxes on the wealthy ASAP. 

The Great Wall of Hand-Jobs?

Holy crap, I think you just ID’d one of the next two models: F. The other being A.

420 weeks.

The QX80 is pretty sweet as long as you don’t have to look at it. 

I was behind this story until this “source” was described as a Deadspin reader who sat in “first class.”