Also we get locust demons with women’s faces, right? I’m kind of looking forward to seeing that, at least.

All that cognitive dissonance can’t be good for our Republican brothers and sisters. Let’s all stage an intervention during the next midterm election.

More votes? Ugh, that sounds like work. Can’t we just sign some petitions and then stare sadly into our pinot noirs?

(Stares innocently)

Guys, guys! This is what Pence wants!

Eh. Cruz would be president now but a bigger asshole showed up and out-assholed him. His only mistake was to underestimate the Republican appetite for assholes, and to not be enough of an asshole early on.

Yes, good! We show up without a plan! Wait, that sounds stupid.

Yeah, I was freaked out by parts of it, but I don’t remember having a nightmare after watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Secret of NIHM though...

Secret of NIHM and the Dark Crystal, you’re damn right! With an honourable mention to Watership Down, which should top the list but it was not a kid’s movie and I never should have watched it when I was eight.

Honestly, I found the similarities to Breaking Bad to be much more apparent. Unsatisfied family-man/underperformer/genius with thwarted early ambitions, is revealed to have a terminal illness and reinvents himself, has acerbic relationship with undisciplined younger character who proves to be surprisingly competent...?

It’s not like James Woods actually does cocaine.

I keep telling you it’s the spider god idol you’re using as a doorstop!

Nooo! She was Dorothy in Return to Oz, the third creepiest children’s movie of all time!

Now that sounds like a good campaign. I love when there’s lots of problem-solving instead of wall-to-wall hack-and-slash.

Yes, I love Peter Gabriel! Stop judging me!

You... wield Dwarf Clerics as though they were hammers?!?

The Cadillac of meat-shields!

I’ve always thought of the Cleric as the Obi-Wan of D&D. Hence, they are badass!

I did! Cripes, those things were useful. 10' torch, spring traps, fish things out of gelatinous cubes, pin a zombie to a wall, wedge into a crevasse to support a crumbling ceiling, at which point I... I had to leave it behind.

A martial art that involves around throwing your mother?