I guess everyone has a Half-Centaur/Half-Minotaur hybrid who ended up with baseline humanoid proportions Shadow-Dancer Monk-Thief with a crippling fear of the colour blue, genderthropism, a Deck of Many Things tattooed on his/her back and spectacles that turn music into +1 silver-tipped crossbow bolts. Now if only I…

In comparison the Democrats are looking positively fine. Why don’t they bring that hot legislative body over here and let us all have a look at it? Damn.

But as they keep saying it their voices keep rising and their eyes get wider and wider, and now they’re starting to scream it with their hands pressed over their ears. And Holy Cow, that one’s coughing blood!

He’s capable of being a mental person.

Patience, patience. This is not the time. Soon, but not now.

That joke scored a clitical hit.

That Cheeto dust never comes off your knuckles, though.

You know, in Mirror Universe President Sanders just added a universal drug plan to our already comprehensive single-payer healthcare system.

I guess you need to decide whether you prefer a living shitstorm tornado to a creepy, dead-eyed fundamentalist replicant.

(Grits teeth) I strongly believe it is wrong to wish death on another person, and Donald Trump very nearly meets the technical definition of ‘person’.

He is also showing the GOP to be an irredeemable pack of hypocrites, ripping open fissures between the pro-rich/pro-racism arms of the party and forcing moderates into the arms of the Democrats. Not to say it isn’t bad. It’s terrible, but it’s not all bad.

Uh... they removed those bushes weeks ago.

Mr. Glitch! We heard the news and came as soon as we could. Is it true? Have you finally found... the Chosen One?

Now how can we work this wonderful black magic on admitted sexual assaulter Donald Trump? Because if he had a Weinstein-style collapse resulting in public repudiation, then the last nine months will have almost been worth it! Almost.

I hold out a faint hope that some of them are merely astonishingly ignorant, not contemptibly evil. I’m an optimist!

Nah, Trump fucked you.

Uh... what do I still have from back then? Oh wow, The Order of the Phoenix! I totally never finished reading that one too!

They should have used Anarky instead of Joker. Anarky’s already kind of heroic and Joker’s character would not be altered.

My cactus just died. Cripes, were you pointing in my direction when you said that?!?

They’ll play the Harry Potter theme and then Daniel Radcliffe will come out and kill them both.