My wife and I moved to Seattle from Philadelphia last year just after Christmas. We arrived for the last regular season game and then the playoff game with the Vikings. We watched it from our apartment, many people around us celebrating the Seahawks completely improbable win. Afterwards, we had to run some errands. As…

A Vikings fan is a wounded man. He’s been hurt often, much of it occurring in childhood, where the damage tends to be permanent. The most important thing to grasp about us is that wins have become nowhere near as enjoyable as losses are painful. Wins are a relief, but are viewed as momentary aberrations. Losses are…

I started crying a little from laughter reading this one. I was watching this game with a buddy who, when they lined up for the kick, stood up and told me to crank the volume up, then walked outside and started smoking a cigarette instead of watching the shank. I assume all Vikings fans have Cassandra like visions…

The day of that missed kick I swear you could hear the entire city scream at once. It was an incredible feeling.

Gather ‘round, friends. It’s time for Drew’s Annual Suicide Note.

Red Bag Of Discourage

I want this whole sexual-harrassment-at-Fox thing to get really ugly.

I prefer my Pop Tarts untoasted. I haven’t had a toasted Pop Tart in over 30 years...

Whatever, Swim Shady.

I am commenting for the first time ever on a Jezebel post (even though I’m a long time reader) because I am CRYING over this paragraph:

I was just laughing at the other swimmers being like “It was all Lochte’s idea!” Fair enough, bros, but if we’re honest, you get what you deserve when you accept Ryan Lochte as your idea man.

The greatest trick the devil ever played is convincing the world he probably ate a lot of paste.

Hi Erin! Welcome back.. The place burned down while you were gone. I don’t think Ryan Lochte had anything to do with it, but I can’t be sure.

My dad was a vet. He gave me a kitten who had been hit by a tractor. Very nice cat but it could not focus on anything due to brain damage. Like, if he tried to stare at something his eyes would start rolling and his head would eventually start to do the same.

I’ve always known Ryan was dumb. Like, properly stupid. But not even in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that he could bring about a full-blown international incident based solely on the sheer intergalactic power of his stupidity.

Also, Jesus tapdancing Christ, that’s the most perfect Ryan Lochtweet that could ever exist. I’m going to start inserting “Haha #jeah” into all my twitter conversations (get ready, Twinja!)

The day or so before I started my period I always feel so weak when exercising. I might be able to do so much the day before but at that moment I'm bad. During the first few days of my period, I'm still out of sort with movement. It's interesting to see its not just me that gets that way.

1. Hamilton Nolan

I came here from Feministing. I haven’t been back there in forever.

I started reading Jezebel because a coworker told me it was how she killed time. It’s been my #1 source of procrastination ever since.