In fairness, I would probably become an alcoholic if my dad were Rand Paul.

“There are so many things we can talk about,” the senator said, “the breakdown of the family structure, the lack of fathers, the lack of a moral code in our society.”

If he can’t be a good head of household, how is he going to be a good head of state? \s, \\ quote from republican primary debates.

thank you <3 This is a really bummer time. It’s good to know I’m not alone. If I have to hear ONE more “..But she’s your mother!” I’m going to throw things.

My mother is an alcoholic, compulsive-spender-hoarder narcissist. I finally went no contact with her last year and this will be my first mother’s day not acknowledging her. It’s tough because there is always an innate desire to please, to be a good person to your mother. But when it just gets thrown in your face and…

If i could get this gif tattooed on my body I would

pretty sure there is a sign about putting your stuff on the seats, though it may be too subtle for the above mouthbreathers to fully grasp.

Misandry gif party, anyone?

Any other large-breasted women just spend a couple minutes staring at your elbows trying to figure out wtf that guy is going on about?

On a scale from “old toilet used as a flower planter” to “my dad is also my grandpa”, this is a “found hiding under a kiddie pool on an episode of Cops”.

How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?

Only minority sperm ever get busted for loitering.

EXACTLY. $500k for a dog?! "Sorry kids, Farfel got a job in Europe, but dad can get you PONIES now!"

$250k? $500k? Are you guys fucking nuts? I had to re-read it 3 times just to make sure you were talking about dogs and not kids. If someone offered me $500 cash I’d hand him over and run home for his antibiotics, he has lupus btw

Kill two for matching clogs!

+1 Feel this sweater, there's no better, than authentic Irish Setter

He clearly wanted to make the dog into a coat, right? Only a dog-coat fetishist would do that.

I really don’t know any details, but I thought Tyson was trying to turn his life around or something, while Mayweather seems to enjoy being a piece of shit.