I might, but that's only because this system stopped NO terrorists, but when we get a tip like we did from the Russians about the Boston bombers, it goes down the intelligence black hole.

Not appreciably.

A lot of anti-Rand sentiments in these parts, but he gets a big THANK YOU from me for this one.

The lawn darts of our day.

What color hijab you wearing?

Minye ochen nravitsa!

The view is great from 100 floors up in Midtown. Who cares if you’re only in town 3 days a year?!

What is a weapon? A brain? Gravity?

No matinees?

It just goes to show: Kids’ programming makes bank. Worth your grown-up stuff’s weight in gold. Make a profitable kids’ film franchise and watch the world open to you.

That is to say, Alaska State Senator...

My sister has a glass eye. I would have suggested a patch, but, wouldn’t ya know: Glass eyes are, ever-so-slightly, less conspicuous..

This big one happened 50 years ago in Alaska. His math sucks.

Every time I go to the bathroom, “Saucer separate!”

My mom ran for State Senator. No joke!

She is perfect. Did anyone see her charm Savannah to death on Today? That is just a sliver of her powers.

My bias is that women are better at focusing on the group priorities and getting stuff done, while men are better at posturing and taking credit for stuff other people did. So of course there will always be more men on panels. Women should embrace them and realize that it's just men doing what men do: posing and…

This is like the Incredible Hulk’s origin story. Has anybody tried pissing this guy off yet?

My 4-year old was recently cleared of his early childhood diagnosis of autism. He had speech apraxia and sensory processing disorder, and both the neurologist and evaluators pushed for an early autism diagnosis so that he would receive public special educational services that would only be available with an autism…

C’mon, man! Ain’t so easy to start an INFINITY WAR!