[guy has never seen UFC before]

-1

"How else are you supposed to start it?"

Based on conversations I've had with a few acquaintances, I'm calling bullshit on this, Barry. My urologist, Dr. Gary Sutter, thinks Darryl was right to raise the question, while my dry cleaner, Ms. Ayumi Sutter hates coloured hockey tape with a passion.

[Genius Bear receives trophy for Deadspin's 2014 Bear of The Year]

Big deal, Professor Janet Newman in Life Sciences was just given a surplus of semi-functional staplers and a broken overhead projector.

[a man, not unlike you and I, sees that he has once again finished 2nd in fantasy football]

On the topic of cap space, I have repurposed a game-worn Bruce Bochy Giants lid into a lovely 2 bedroom plus den with a 440 sq. foot balcony, walk-in closets and en suite laundry. Asking $1800/month OBO.

Barry might have thought he didn't have a chance, alas, there is a Schott in hell.

hopefully you find one big enough to sit in :/

They didn't call you? That's strange.

Based on his last name and how good his English is, I'm going to assume that this angry man is in fact not French.

Seriously though, Jeremy Lin has asthma.

"Sounds like the voting might be, ahem, riga'd"

How many times was he shot?

I hate when people use that word, implying that those who have been handcuffed by a congenital condition are somehow similar to a diminutive lad who by request of the Catalan football giants was injected with growth hormones at the age of 11 prior to his transfer to Barcelona and would go on to become the world's…

[the sound of a thousand farts]

Forget for a moment the reason for the beating, how could you do this to a woman without legs?

+1