To make matters worse, Leaf was also drafted second overall in the prison football league draft behind Dirty Dick Danny.

Rondo asked Kobe to pass the salt. Kobe held onto it for 23 seconds before throwing it in the direction of the elderly couple sharing the peach cobbler.

Sounds incestuous to me.

The St. Louis Rams appreciate the gesture on behalf of the black police officers of St. Louis, and would like to cordially invite both of them to an upcoming home game.

Dude, that place is gross. Hit up the Don Juan truck for a smog dog combo next time.

Johnson's actually showing the receipts to prove that he paid for the one kid's cigarillo, much to the dismay of the man in the background.

"There will be one true champion. Am I even confused by this? Yes. Will we continue to exploit our student-athletes for the profit of the schools? Yes. Will the majority of the student-athletes earn worthless degrees in fields such as Communications and African American Studies? Yes. Will we continue to rationalize…

Scott thinks umpires aren't ruining baseball. Would like to see him say that with a straight face.

"Cool dunk, Blake, but could you dunk over my new wheels??"

I think the most noteworthy part of this story is that Kevin Federline is:

fake native indian guy that shills for the Redskins: "I think my brother who carries his bow and pelt for the Chiefs of Kansas City is not pantomiming the act of choking one's coyote, but performing the ancient Navajo ritual 'Shaking A Grouse Against The Penis And Letting It Fly Away'"

Thanks a lot Steve, now hockey bloggers will be forced to revert to classical means of getting laid, and by that I mean masturbating furiously in the back seat of a taxi.

"Football is reflexive. You program your body to perform certain functions through repetition, increasing the likely hood of pulling them off in a game. It's not unlike training your mage to level 5 and developing the skills that come with such classification. A DPS caster who specializes in spells and burst damage…

Congratulations to Doha for overcoming a few hurdles. Now if we could only say the same for Lolo Jones.

Meatloaf for dinner. Not again!

I read somewhere that if the bird is not cooked to a specific temperature, that which is put inside can be plagued by bacteria consistent with raw poultry and food-borne illnesses. My question is, if I put a little Purell on my dick after the fact am I in the clear?

It's ok, Samer, you can step on my stuff whenever you want.

Let me get this straight. The Browns played in Atlanta on Sunday, yet in the early hours of Saturday, Johnny Manziel was in Cleveland and was allegedly involved in a fight. Seems I've missed the Commerce Team post on "Top 5 Teleportation Devices"

Police officers determined that Kieu had been watching gay pornography in the driver's seat of the Honda with a portable DVD player before he is accused of attacking the victim.

[Roger Goodell's conscience enters the room]