Upon hearing the news, Mercury Morris popped the cork on a bottle of champagne and celebrated being the only Miami Dolphin who's never touched a woman.

[screams] "BET YOU THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU"

If Allam really wants the club to turn its back on their roots, may i suggest renaming the club Brett Hull?

Considering the precedent, this seems tame in comparison to the way other unarmed black men have been treated in Missouri.

"Sometimes you can't depend on others to get you to 3rd base"

shithead here. don't have much of a sense of humour do you?

Should have just written the Panthers a Deere John letter.

Nice to know that there's at least two of us who've been inside a Teddy Ruxpin.

+1

Making a list/

+1

hi Barry

5 kids between the ages of 7 and 10 years old? Yikes. Well, at least we know how mom snuck the rotisserie oven into the game.

This answers the age old question: what's harder to find, a picture of Da'Rick Rogers actually playing or one of a New York Jet making a tackle?

Doctors also performed a series of tests on the body of Chiefs coach Andy Reid. Local authorities are pleased to announce that they've solved the case of the missing Pop Tarts.

lol, like Americans have rights. gtfo

why not exercise your first amendment rights and eat wherever you fancy?

This guy's a friggin 2L

I watched this several times and even froze the frame using a feature on the video player, pause.

¯\(^_o)/¯