I have only one request for a car “for ladies”-- a place to put my fucking purse that’s not the passengers seat! How hard is that?

Oh so that’s what happened when they left the attic.

Not married, but still.

Today’s winner:

Never forget. (Couples with strong marriages making movies together about couples with broken marriages then breaking up shortly after is the new old thing.)

No. Because that woman doesn’t get divorced.

Is this like the Hollywood, glamourized version of the Facebook woman who is always stating how much she loves her boyfriend or husband and she’s #blessed but you really know there’s all kind of shitty baggage in that relationship?

It’s because we’re actually very, very stable, and these aren’t our issues.”

I have seen so many tabloid covers screaming about the rumored divorce of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that news of their actual divorce hit me not like a ton of bricks, but like a gentle dusting of old, scraped off grout from in between a ton of bricks.

#notallunservicedelevators

Steven Tyler!

America: you have just two skittles to choose from, and one will DEFINITELY KILL YOU.

fuck shaun white

Anecdata: Chyna got her hair done by my stylist a couple months ago, just her and Rob in the salon after hours with a couple staff members, and she said that they were clearly genuinely in love (no cameras present). Also they were both really nice and not as weird as she expected. IDK, man, I am on #teamangela…

This is a violation of Fox News’ god given right to be rumor mongering, racist assholes

i am shocked!!!!!!

I bet Donald Trump saw this coming.

Some people are saying that the Trump campaign set off these bombs to distract us from the NAMBLA issue. Some of our best people are saying that.

If it wouldn’t be a massive waste of time and resources, I’d love to see the FBI go “oh yeah, well if you knew about it before it happened, we’ll have to assume you were involved and investigate”.

I hate to “actually” you, but the correct terminology is “football rink.”