wait WHAT

what is a “hilarious Twitter hilarious” and why would I want to read it

Also sort of a joke on acupuncture being “back-stabbing” that didn’t really come across.

Pretty sure the idea is that the condom would catch ‘em all (‘em being STDs and spermies). But yeah, given that the imagery is a Poke-condom, it does get somewhat turned around.

Same.

Some important thoughts:

is this /r/nosleep

I always come back to this lentil soup recipe. It’s super basic, so you can add whatever fresh veggies you need to use up or spices you are craving at the moment. Crazy protein and fiber content but low-calorie, if you’re into that sort of thing. And vegan! It makes a big batch and freezes well so I divide up the…

My immediate reaction was “I hope this was some white anarchist/ultra-right person seeking to start a war.”

Wait I LOVE this. Might have to steal the idea at some point (although I could never pull off a pixie) (and I already have this year’s Halloween planned out. Ariana Venti—like Ariana Grande, but about 20% larger).

Between this and the new Iron Man...can today make up the beginning of a trend towards representation in media? Because I’m damn stoked if that’s where this is going!

I was Professor Plum for Halloween my sophomore year of college! Sexy Professor Plum. Purple miniskirt & platform heels + false mustache.

Yep. Yep yep yep.

Speaking of corgis, I spent a chunk of this afternoon going through the last six months of photos from my phone. Please enjoy this rather magnificent faceswap with my Ralph the Corgi calendar.

• Justin Bieber has already started planning his funeral.

How has it taken Ashton this long to make it to Seattle.

Drunk me loves to Amazon Prime presents for sober me. Apparently Reese Witherspoon and I have this in common.

Off-topic-ish, but can we talk about how “Lady Justice” is the most badass title??