Sitting? Or dancing in the aisles? You know, as a “celebration of life”... If somehow forced to attend Trump’s funeral, I’d wear a Vegas showgirl-style headpiece in full rainbow colors. 

The USPS gets $0 in taxpayer money. The USPS is, since its creation, self-supporting. 

And how is the name Sweetie Darling doing? 

Hopper, in honor of Rear Adm. Grace Hopper.

For all I know, she chose to go by BJ just to see people’s reactions. This was San Francisco and I know the older I get, the less I care about people’s judgments and like messing with them.

That’s because there’s an infinite amount of time for men to “settle down” and get married, (because that’s something everyone wants to do /s). However, women have an expiration date before they turn into unmarriable spinsters. The age shifts depending on the person passing unbidden judgment, but definitely before age…

Seriously! What is with these gigantic armholes all of a sudden? I could stick my entire leg through them and they show the bottom of my bra strap.

Sigh. I need to start a company whose selling point will be that nothing is transparent. I don’t have the time or patience to tailor all of my tops. Going baggy isn’t such an option because the difference between my waist and bust means I could smuggle a melon or two without being caught (aka the circus tent).

Maybe the crushing crowd in general boarding is more likely to trigger it? Or just stress in general? I dunno.

Yup. I once saw an order placed at my bakery for someone named BJ with a horribly unfortunate last name to go with BJ. Whatever you’re imagining, you’re probably right. Luckily, I could get my giggles out ahead of time because soon after, in walks a woman who looks like Emily Gilmore announcing her name to the room.…

To be fair, Dweezil apparently chose his own name. I guess if your father is Frank Zappa you’re probably going to go way out there or be a model for The Preppy Handbook. 

Never any dairy jokes? If I could find it fresh near me, I’d spread Devonshire cream on everything I eat, so all I could think of was dairy. 

This mom could do something similar and differentiate them by middle name: Erin, Frank, George, and Hannah.

How many of them are actually test entries?

You know she has a wall decal that says, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

It has become a personal crusade for this commenter, armed with endless copy-paste. 

I reflexively start spelling my last name whenever people ask it. It’s just easier that way. The thing is, this is my married name which I chose to take on because it was easier than dealing with my maiden name. Other reasons to, but it is still more convenient that way. 

We were thisclose to naming our dog after our favorite Top Gear presenter. 

But did they find shirts that are completely opaque? Opaque to the point that it doesn’t matter what color bra I’m wearing? Those are really effing hard to find and I’ve worn the life out of most of the ones I have. No, the solution isn’t to layer two shirts or wear a camisole underneath. If I’m paying for a shirt, it…

It seems pretty common for people to grow in leaps and bounds in their first year after college, particularly if they’re not living with their parents.