Punching up is definitely a start.

My husband comes from a community where weddings with 300 guests are totally normal. He genuinely thought that 125 guests was a pretty small wedding. 

I ended up making paper flowers for center pieces because I couldn’t deal with the florists I found. I had loads of time and a love of crafting, but I still wouldn’t do it again. 

In basically all of the hetero married couples I know, it was the guy who wanted the wedding bigger and fancier. Maybe I just have practical friends, but I only know of one couple where it wasn’t the groom driving up costs. It was the bride’s mother and older sister who’d commandeered the entire thing. It seems to be…

Yeah, peas are an ingredient in my dog’s dry food, which is grain free. We don’t buy it because it is grain free but because chicken and beef make her itchy. Even kibble labeled salmon or whatever all seem to have chicken or beef thrown in there too. So, here we are. Her wet food is lamb with “water sufficient for…

I did not know that Lisa Frank made adult-sized PJs. Huh.

Find a new gyno or perhaps a uro-gynecologist. I know two people who had recurring UTIs and that stopped when they got treatment to make something in their general vaginal area a bit more robust. Essentially, it was a tiny shot of some sort of filler (collagen maybe?) and they were good to go. It took talking to…

Find a doctor who takes recurring UTIs seriously. I have two friends who were having zero sex and doing all the other stuff and seriously all their doctors would say was... “Pee after sex.” Telling said medical professional they were not having sex was apparently not enough to get any other thought put into their…

Best news I’ve heard all day. I also found out that today is Thursday and not Friday at around 10 this morning, so I needed a boost.

Fine, not in-breeding. A topiary-shaped family tree.

Aren’t these the same shitty big avocados they have in Florida that are fine for creaminess but taste like water with a hint of wheatgrass? No, thank you.

It’s a solid B+ pun. Hope you got some coffee or other caffeine in you. 

Is this an in-breeding joke?

Or punishing their daughters or sons for the whole situation.

I handmade some beautiful fettuccine and then stopped reading the recipe and boiled it for as long as you would cook dried pasta. It turned into a gloppy lump at the bottom of the pot.

As a PSEG customer, I can totally believe they messed up. 

Everyone gets sick. Anyone can get hit by a bus at any time. Hire enough employees that the work can actually get done, so no one gets screwed.

I think Patton Oswald would need to do the film on stilts but that would still make more sense. Still not good, but this casting really didn’t work for me.

Apparently, no. Any garden variety asshole will do.

She’s playing a person who actually existed and looked absolutely nothing like her except they were both white.