You’ve got it wrong man. Mr. White was Reservoir Dogs.

I’m just going to give you a star for this comment to hopefully dig you out of the grays and let others see how tightly you clutch your pearls. 

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

At what point do we accept that this guy is who he is, which is Ted Cruz?

Oh yeah, by the way, let us remember the moment the Oklahoma City Thunder ceased to exist...

Boy, Chris Paul must really be an asshole.

The greatest stunt the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that - poof - he’s gone!

Most of the picks are thrown into the future. There’s just so many variables that will effect where a 2025 pick will land. Houston might be a lottery team! Miami could be in 2023! Or Pence will be president and basketball will be outlawed and Miami underwater.

now they just need to find someone who will trade them an extra basketball

Admittedly, I’m not an expert in these things but it sure looks like OKC traded both Westbrook and George and got back nothing but a fuck ton of picks that are probably going to be in the mid or late 20's(and SGA). Is that really the best basis for a rebuild?

OKC and Paul agreeing to an unprecedented buyout and he signs with the Lakers for the vet minimum. 

What happens first: Russ and Harden have to be separated on the bench mid-game, or Mike D’Antoni gets fired for an “unexpected slow start?”

Ok, wow, a thread specifically created for my sort of pedantry (I have an astrophysics Ph.D.). Here we go.

Schrodinger cat survive?

The whole opening exchange reads like Brissett is trying way too hard to be a goofy, likable weirdo and lacks the self awareness to realize he's failing badly. Meanwhile, Dobbs isnt 100% sure where Brissett is going with this but he decides to err on the side of caution and humor him. But then Brissett doubles down…

More Jacoby Thoughtlets: if the oven is on at 425 degrees downstairs, how come I can’t cook a batch of Totino’s Pizza Rolls in my bed?

he's implying he's never stuck his hand in a household vacuum. like a fucking hoover. 

Fine it’s a Hoover but apparently you have to keep up appearances around here lately

I don’t appreciate this article’s snarky tone. I’ve got a lot of questions just like Jacoby’s. Fuckin’ magnets, for example. How do they work?