hit the little boys' room

MAKE DONALD

Perkins: Say "uncle!" Say uncle!

Umpire: Oh, what's this on your neck?

The text of the article is two sentences and placeholder text with the intent to insert quotes. Are you kidding me?! Goddammit, Jefferson, rewrite this, you have until the 4th.

#rollo

This could lead to some sanctions for Miami, because if Perryman is not at least a junior or senior it would be a violation of NFL rules for him to GoPro.

Uhhh just me or does he look a lot like Magary

Just give me a kid who can play the game

This is all just a big misunderstanding. The police weren't upset at him for saying the word "bomb," they were upset at him for driving his car on the runway.

Kids Opening Day used to be the same day as regular opening day until the government defunded the Head Start program.

Geez, Samer, slow news day or what? I already read this story 10 years ago.

Sir, it looks like they need help!

The girl in the background repeatedly saying "oh my god" adds a certain inexplicability to the whole thing.

All right already, Magary, we've heard enough whining about your life-changing Backe injury.

So we shouldn't make too much of reports suggesting he might throw his hat into the NFL arena

Doctor: Well, you see this thing here?

You've Been Taking Pepper Balls To The Chest, When You Should Be Eating Them, by Albert Burneko

Police attempted to contact Jackson, who was not a suspect, but were unable to get in touch with him.

a waiver that makes a guaranteed contract anything but. Seattle tried to spring it on Wolf at the last minute, but he wasn't willing to sign.