Shut the fuck up Mikey

And then said, "Oh, wait, I meant to say that about him being hired by Cleveland, but when Philly hired him, someone at NFL Network just switched the names. It wasn't my fault, you guys."

The other metric I'm using is that I watched these teams under these people, and they were bad.

No, what he is saying is his mom disciplined them when they acted like this. She didnt continue to stand in line while her little asshole was screaming its head off and ruining it for everyone else. My mom and my brother does now. She didnt wait in line to reward them with what they were yelling about. If we acted up…

Yeah and you guys are the main reason for it being considered that.

No reasonable person thinks they're getting tickets to the SCF, in NY of all places, a week before game day for a freaking $1 per ticket when every other ticket on the site is currently going for around at minimum $1600. You've maybe got an argument if he listed them somewhere even in the remote range of what…

I'll believe in ghosts long before I believe a story claiming that an NBA player is afraid of travelling.

The fact that you actually put this stupid fucking meme on Deadspin proves that you have NO idea what we do here at Deadspin. Go back to Reddit or where ever the hell mouth-breathers like you find this stuff amusing.

"Oh, we really appreciate the offer, but we've already been fed more than enough bullshit." - Guys at media table.

"That's great! I'm gonna do the same!"

A brother can't get credit for shit around here.

Is there some sort of saying that would apply here? Maybe some suggestion that the residents of a city conduct themselves in a certain dignified manner? I'm drawing a blank.

Samer is from New England and is a Patriots fan, shithead. That is his proof.

He points out several times that he fears his openness is what cost him his job and, indeed, that's the entire point of the tale. Mike Priefer is not a bigot because he didn't want to spend $850k on a punter.

"So in other words, while a Penguin is having a melt-down, a free shot is awarded? Sounds about right."

Just so everyone's up to date, I'm now also a Packers fan.

Torn Asshole [courtesy of Chris Kluwe]

It's even worse once you consider there's TWO MORE of these asshats walking around somewhere. Thanks a lot, fertility clinics!

Just another couple of talking heads going on about a house burning down.