Dan Quinn’s doubly an idiot for carrying water for Durkin like this. Politically it’s a bad look that makes him look insensitive, ignorant, or both. And practically it makes no sense since Dunkin’s not gonna let anybody drink any of it.

Durkin thinks about the hundreds of kids who didn’t die. They keep him up at night. His bloodlust is unsated.

I spent over eight hours Mai Tai drunk at the San Diego Pride parade this past Saturday. I have no regrets. Although my shoulders are currently peeling in sheets that resemble old masking tape. Regardless, Mai Tai drunk is excellent and highly recommended.  

+1 knife-wielding wop

“Hey, what’s this?”

The 20 ad breaks showing on the bottom are what puts it over the top

Well done, kid.  Well done indeed.

Now they’ll replace him with some common bitch.

I did very poorly that semester

making public these public documents would “place the county and its taxpayers at a competitive disadvantage.” 

Fuck, what a loss. A true national treasure. RIP Rip.

If these walls could talk; you’d probably hate their accent.

“...And when I masturbate, which I sometimes do after a shower...”

Ya Gotta Bereave!

“The joy I feel is unmatched.”

If you don’t want to, I’ll volunteer to take the reigns on the “I hope this guy gets out of the way of a speeding bus quickly enough that it’s not a direct hit but still slow enough his leg gets completely crushed leading to him slowly crawling to the sidewalk while bleeding out” train.

He’s off to butt into conversations at Midtown Comics about how they don’t get it and don’t understand the whole story.

I realize you got a Crocodile in Spelling, but it’s “whose.”

How in the hell is that the face of a professional athlete? Jason Vargas looks like he picked up baseball after his pearl jam coverband disbanded. 

Sorry fellas, gotta go, I have an Alexander Pope lecture to give at Queens Community College.