Insert Clever Name
clevernameinserted
10/23/19
11:54 AM
39

The best part about her response is that it was direct and to the point, and that there is exactly no chance at all that people will respond with “Lighten up and learn to recognize a compliment”/ “These things happen when you choose to put yourself on TV”/ “What he did was wrong, but did he really deserve to have you Read more

10/22/19
6:47 PM
10

Sure, Gase doesn’t know what he’s talking about. We’ll all pretend that we don’t remember that, as Broncos’ QB coach, he developed a little-known player named, let’s see, Peyton Manning, if that makes you feel better about yourself.

10/22/19
6:25 PM
23

Look, I’m not some blood-crazed revolutionary or anything. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t necessarily be the worst thing in the world to maybe keep one tiny, portable guillotine around. It won’t take up much space! We can keep it in the corner of the attic next to the inflatable mattress. That way we’re ready for Read more

10/21/19
2:20 PM
19

“At first I thought he was some kind of street performer, although I wasn’t sure what kind of performance it was—some kind of avant garde production of Oliver!, I suppose—but then the policeman who shoved him out of my way assured me that he was some kind of street...person. I felt just terrible about it later, so I Read more

10/20/19
7:01 PM
1

Sounds good. I know a great way to get the ball rolling by showing just how many people agree with us.

10/19/19
10:33 PM
51

I hate double standards. If he had horribly broken his ankle, they would have shown it twenty times, zooming in more each time, going in slower and slower motion. But expect the same in a case like this, and it’s “unseemly” and “creepy” and “Sir, please stop calling us in the booth and how did you get this number, Read more

10/17/19
6:08 PM
13

What are you talking about? With his gruff, dismissive attitude, indifference toward everything and everyone that might distract him from the task at hand, and willingness to do whatever it takes to accomplish his goals (regardless of how it might affect others), Belichick reminds me a lot of my dad. And if you’re Read more

10/17/19
3:22 PM
17

Thanks for the phrasing! Now, when my boss asks me why there are so many searches for “twink wrestling videos” on my office computer, I can just say I was looking for this guy’s highlight videos.

10/16/19
7:21 PM
Save

Cops: Crimson Cad Contravenes Code, Claims Crime, Causes Concern, Can’t Clear Capture, Could Confront Conviction

10/14/19
9:29 PM
3

As a Browns fan, let me stand in solidarity and say that I, too, wish the Bills had been sold to Trump.

10/10/19
1:35 AM
Save

I’ve often felt that the Timberwolves could have won at least two or three championships if Kevin Garnett hadn’t been so nice.

10/9/19
6:05 PM
3

Well, yeah, that’s obvious; you can’t name one German chancellor that you could swap out and wouldn’t be >Kohl. Just try; I can wait all night.

10/9/19
4:50 PM
32

You’re right to be embarrassed. How anyone could forget that asshole Helmut Kohl is beyond me.