Baking Duncan Hines in your oven doesn’t make them homemade, Diane.

I wouldn’t have called “getting an extra cupcake when Kevin’s mom brings them” payment, but you take what you can.

A quick google search finds that his hoodie costs $850.

At least it’s marginally more creative than “Not to sound racist...”

Come on, don’t try to pretend you didn’t just type “drive-time sports radio host” into Google Images and posted the first one that came up.

Hey, you leave my grandmother out of this, you bast—

Arians didn’t stop there, reportedly calling Winston “a great leader and obviously a heck of a young quarterback,” and saying “he would be fun to coach.” None of that squares much with what Winston’s done in his NFL career so far—he’s an interception machine and an occasional hothead with a lousy 21–33 record as a…

A bit outside the box to hire a college assistant, but I like it. Point to one time an NFL team hiring a coordinator from a team like USC didn’t turn out great.

In perfectly Sabanian fashion, the Alabama coach took some of the blame for the fake, only to point out how it was someone else’s fault in the very next sentence:

I’ve had my share of meals at Denny’s, and not once has someone had the common decency or humanity to disrupt one of them.

“It’s just...so...beautiful.”

Or maybe he was moonlighting at USC while still at Texas Tech; we don’t know who was on the other side of his headset at all times. If that’s the case, no wonder both teams were so disappointing and he got fired--even if he weren’t distracted by the side gig, most employers don’t let you work for a competitor at the…

Curb and the already much-missed Marty Funkhouser have already considered the possibility:

It’s worse than I thought—even sequestering the second G in a Greg/g’s last name isn’t enough to prevent the dipshitting process.

That clip has maybe my three favorite Curb moments: “I’m not your best friend” (and the aftermath); “Spell it”; and Auntie Rae going off on Larry from the landing (the best bird-flipping ever recorded; I had to pause for about 10 minutes when I first watched the episode to catch my breath before I could finish it).

As a kid, I loved watching Bizarre with my dad, but only for Super Dave (I was too young to get a lot of the jokes, and for some of the show’s other...draws). My mom would let me sit through most of it, watching like a hawk for any appearance of the show’s other...draws...at which point she leapt into action like a…

The Captain, Mean Gene, and Super Dave all on the same day (and at the same age, no less). Weirdest “These things happen in threes” trio I can remember.

Obviously there are examples on every show—and plenty of others on Curb—but I will fight for Bob Einstein as Funkhouser and Richard Kind as Andy as two of the best secondary-role casting jobs ever.

4) Victor Salva had the weekend free.

I was re-watching some scenes on YouTube recently, and between him, Baldwin, and Mamet behind the scenes, that was a fine collection of humanity on the set.