I’ve been to Versailles. After seeing it, it was a whole lot easier to understand why the French Revolution happened.

Ugh, his complexion is a thousand percent “bloated corpse in dirty river.”

It went away with his soul.

His home is so hideous, how does a billionaire not even update their home decor? It’s just plain ugly.

Where is his melanin???

Why simply have a marble fireplace with gold accents when you can cover your whole tacky ridiculous apartment in it?

They always look like either serial killers or village idiots.

I’ve never ever ever seen a pic where they look handsome.

The bunny wears it better.

Eyebrow toupee?

Why do you want to hurt me? Why?

I feel the same way about Biotene. I managed to hit my 40's without ever encountering it or knoeing it existed. My doctor recommended it for dry mouth and I will never use anything else ever again. Not only is it not cloyingly fucking sweet like so many other brands, it’s not gritty or goopy. It tastes like delicious…

Biracial person here. Saying “half [insert race]” is quite alright, thank you.

This type of thoughtfulness is how I learned about something called “Ash Wednesday”.

My coworkers let me go almost the whole day with toothpaste prominently on my forehead. Damn those people! *shakes fist*

That’s a brilliant idea. I hate that it’s such a brilliant idea.

You have no idea how much I hate that I’m here telling you that your plan is brilliant and thank you for caring about your kiddos so much. Also considering carrying a couple lollipops in my purse just in case I need to keep my own kids quiet in an emergency sometime.

I keep a bag of lollipops in the filing cabinet near where they have to be quiet. In the event that it wasn’t a drill or went on for a really long time, everyone is getting something stuck in their mouths. You have no idea how much I hate that I have a plan for that scenario.

She looks like she could play a mean game of softball, doesn’t she?