I am also an unabashed Stew-Stan.

Yeah, sure.

I have the new Chappelle line stuck in my head now. ‘He saves, but he rapes. He saves more than he rapes, but he *does* rape.’ It was about Cosby, but goddamn. The man is the prophet of our time.

Oh good, because I ate an entire pizza two days ago. Feeling better about my food choices.

Those things are like 10000000 calories and like 800000 lbs of fat. I would also love to eat them, but you could literally eat an entire pizza and it would be a healthier food choice.

Trying to deny your kid a thing is the best way to guarantee that they want nothing but that thing.

This ends with Bannon literally cucking Kush and having a torrid affair with Ivanka

I’ve been wearing the American Eagle flats from there for like 6 years. Yeah, I have to buy new pairs after six months or so, but they’re so cheap that I don’t feel bad for not wearing the flats socks that are so uncomfortable and fall off my feet constantly and just chuck the shoes when they get smelly.

I can’t believe he was only 28. I mean I should know that. But damn, that’s so young.

He was my first proper “grown up” celeb crush (as in not JTT). I miss that crush. Which is silly as I did not actually know him, but it still makes me sad. :(

Saw the pic and was all like: He’s marrying Rachel Dolezal?

I can’t be the only person to think DJ Khaled’s wife looks a little bit like Rachel Dolezal

Oh no! Truly, it didn’t hurt. I didn’t know it happened at first. It was fixable with many kegels and use of what were essentially weighted dildos.

Anterior vaginal wall prolapse here! After 2 kids in 13 months. My pussy fell out!

just checking in from Team I Want Kids But Holy Shit What Is Childbirth:

This feels like and English class exercise now.

A couple of married Houston neurologists

O M G I got QUOTED in the article I feel like a JEZEBEL CELEBRITY. Does this mean I get pulled out of the greys forever now?!

O M G I got QUOTED in the article I feel like a JEZEBEL CELEBRITY. Does this mean I get pulled out of the greys…

Be gone vile peasants!

I’m just going to let AV Club speak for me here: