I have bad eyes, what is going on in this area of his hair?

And don't forget, British. You must have a proper English accent, too. No Irish or Scots Jesuses, please.

Thank God these women were rescued. How utterly horrible.

Nope - same reason why I love it when you write in all caps. So much easier to read.

Obama looks so good.

Oh geez, #8: "I hope to be able to masturbate again without stopping because I can only see your body and your face."

This reminds me of a guy I broke up with in 1998. Dude still e-mails me occasionally, always saying that I'm the one that got away and can I please send some nude photos. His last request included a…

they should hook up.

Hi, this is my first comment ever. Turns out, I'm French and this video is an interesting copy-paste of the Crazy Horse show from the famous choregraph Découflé, a few years ago. You can check on Google Images, it's almost all there. I still like Beyoncé :)

It really bothers me that the "thong" is upside down.

I say this with extreme sincerity:
Buy the album.

Correction: This is Sexy Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard.

Despite the in your face overt sexuality of the video, I still do not buy it on a gut level. She's beautiful and I like some of the video visuals, but Bey just always gave me a real asexual vibe. This feels try hard, like pushing too far to prove she's sexy for some reason.

Because it's Jezebel and when they aren't finding ways to topple Lena Dunham, they are writing useless articles about every move Beyonce makes and then explaining to us why she is the best person alive on this planet. Ever.

What I got from this video is that I really need to work on my core.

Why are we acting like this is new? The video was out when the album was out.

There's not a single part of this story that I can handle. Not one.

That was fucking ridiculous. Why weren't there 2 or 3 dozen security guards waiting at the hotel entrance, ready to establish a path to the street so none of these people could get near her?

I do not understand this behavior on any level, and I am saying this as a fan. I am one of those dopes who has waited in lines at cons, waited at stage doors (in small groups), and I understand the kind of fan who waits hours to stand behind a fence at a red carpet or the like. But what does this get you as a fan?…