Get rid of kickers and punters and extra points all together. It’s completely out of step with the rest of the game, and it’s both annoying and depressing to have to watch it come down to this.

Welcome to the life of a former Chargers fan. Figures they’ll win the Super Bowl from LA. If that’s not a giant karmic middle finger, I don’t want to know what is.

CHARGERS SAINTS ALL THE WAY

With all of the unpleasant tanking going on, it’s refreshing to see a franchise really lean into “really fucking mediocre” like the Timberwolves do.

I hate that I like the Bears.

Talk about dedication to his players, he went out and got CTE to show his solidarity

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

“North American Independent Nations Finalist”

There’s another way, Dennis. That’s to line these young men up and knock people down. This isn’t pop Warner fellas, this is the goddam NFL playoffs. Hit somebody in the face. Throw a Hail Mary. Play like a champion. Cheat if you have to. Let’s go now. Win on three.

Turkish assassins also expressed relief that they wouldn’t have to sit through a Knicks-Wizards game. 

It’s like those discount baskets of bread you find at the supermarket. Sure, you’re getting a deal, but then the baguette calls you a pussy and you realize why it was so easy to acquire.

‘Cramming genie back in the bottle’ sounds like something Bowsette would be into

In a related story, Knicks players drink Metamucil before every game, resulting in them shitting themselves on the court every night.

Yet again, Boris Diaw is a trendsetter that goes underappreciated in his time

Username checks out.

I always assumed the Pelicans are broke. The crossover hires seem like a cost-saving manuever. How else do you end up playing in the “Smoothie King Center?”

I bet you could make a decent picture of 8-bit Link if you rearranged those tiles.

“I bet he knows the score, though.”

Hey there, America, we need to throw college football a yearlong tailgate, so invite everyone you know. For the next 12 months, hang time refers to bunting, not punting. Tell the helmet makers that all we need are party hats.