Honestly that sounds like my Friday night. I guess I'm cool now? (No I'm not.)
And I'm still pretty fat so obviously I'm not doing it right.

I went to Loyola New Orleans and am from the Pacific Northwest, I think I must have missed out on all this shit. They might have had these people at Tulane, but NOLA doesn't really suffer this kind of bullshit.
These people seem a bit too delicate to live in a shitty falling apart shotgun house infested with termites.…

I'm glad. I'm 25 and I have no idea what they're yammering on about.
College really wasn't that long ago for me and I have never heard of any of this shit.
Is this an East Coast thing?

I think we might be the same person.
Seriously, what would we have done without Adult Swim?

Thank you.
I don't have anything else to say, except to ask where the fucking due diligence is? I know the gawker websites are essentially gossip rags, but I didn't even have to read an article to know that most poaching/shark finning/other things are because of a largely Asian demand for animal parts in traditional…

Too late.

Thank you so much for this.
I laughed so hard I cried real tears. I'm not really sure why.

unless they run with a crowd of dames who wear those sky-high Kardashian-type stilettos all the time, lurching around all helplessly like sexy Frankensteins.

You gotta polish them or else they get water spots, especially if you have hard water.
I work at a winery. We break many, many glasses. You have to be gentle when you're buffing or else they just snap off in your hand like a brittle twig.

I have a fake name I use for ordering coffee and other things of that nature because the bewildered look I always get when i say my name is just too depressing. And no matter how many times you spell it out, they always spell it wrong.

Interesting. And not to be critical, but the phrase "the exact mechanism of action is unknown" is pretty common in the pharmaceutical world. It's been on almost every packaging insert I've read.

Damn you, Big Pharma, trying to make us pay for expensive glue!

in response to everyone:
If these people names their kid Ashlyn because it's a Gaelic name, I'd be truly and incredibly shocked. It's become a trend in america to be add -son or -lyn onto the ends of more traditional names to make them "unique", which I happen to find grating. Obviously I am in the minority.

Isn't it nice that we can all have opinions.

Surgical Glue and superglue aren't really the same thing, or so I've been told. Maybe medical professionals have been lying to me and superglueing my wounds would really work.

Wait, so alcohol DOESN'T improve my dancing ability?
I've been living a lie.

Here is one I thought was cute. It's a lot easier to find them now than it was a couple of years ago. Nordstrom has started stocking the Freya and Fantasie suits recently.

I keep deciding no, because I am lazy and would have to straighten them all the time, and my forehead is an oil slick so they'd never actually look good.

I laughed so hard at that Dax Shepard tweet.
Thank you, friends and relatives, for continuing to talk me out of bangs.

Ken Jennings restores some of my faith in humanity.