A hair track gone loose.

Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

Just like in real life, when you don’t know who the out of control relative everyone’s talking about behind their back is- it’s you.

I deleted my social media accounts years ago and now my life is so much better than everyone I know. It freed up a vast space in mind and body to contemplate my existence rather getting distracted by my friends and family’s consumer-driven performative experiences.

I’ll let the other fan know...

I’ve never really had a dream before, but now I do. Become a NASCAR driver, change my name to Shalom Toyota.

You people are insane.

Yah so, my name is Berjoisey, what about it?

BIG IF TRUE!

What would really make Twitter great is if someone on there could make a joke about that gorilla at that zoo who was shot a few months ago. Has anyone done this yet?

This man is very, very cold, and in desperate need of a hot take. For only $0.40 a day, you can provide him with a hot take, so that he may warm himself.

Can’t

“When a snot-nosed little guy from Westbrook calls me a racist, ....I wish it were 1825

Are you required by some NFL bylaw that we don’t know about to have terrible hair/haircut to be affiliated with the Raiders? I wonder if they’ll require the fans to do similar in the new stadium.

Mark Davis wishes he was ugly enough to be that rich.

I think he just looked into the Ark of the Covenant.

How do you have literally billions of dollars and look like a windburned head of a penis covered in chest hair trimmings?

He looks like he just bit the eye and mouth holes out of a fruit roll up and is wearing it like a mask.

Don’t quote me on this, but I swear that a number of years ago, maybe more than 10, that the cleaning additives only came in the premium gas. At a later point they were added to all the kinds.
Here we go, now you can quote me: http://www.cartalk.com/content/premium-vs-regular-0

This does infer that during a period of…

Why do you people in the media feel like you’re freaking CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED to report everything he says?