You put your tomatoes in the refrigerator? Oh, Allison.

No more articles in the slideshow format please. It’s garbage. 

A cantaloupe from a farmstand that is perfectly ripe is divine. Sometimes—not often, but sometimes—you can find something workable in the store, but I never get my expectations high.

Melons, ranked:

Back in the day, Fleetway/IPC had a weekly comic called Once Upon A Time that featured an Aladdin serial painted by Ron Embleton. Top notch stuff. An early installment has Aladdin and his mum being wooed by the villain. A treat in this feast was melon sprinkled with ginger. This seemed marvelous, I had to try it, so…

No Chubby Hubby, matrix INVALID. He’s right that the truffle flavor is horrible though. Also, the other issue with Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch compared to Heath bar is that the piece size is totally off, really results in a feast or famine situation.

I don’t know anything about the wine, but I have loved Kunis since she clapped back at that journalist speaking Russian (this was years ago) and put her in her place.  

I find her exhausting and self-absorbed.

That’s the Guard Tooth, it protects the others cowering behind it.

Is Taylor Swift releasing new music next month? Who can say cares. FTFY.

You know those little inserts they put under restaurant tables to keep them from wobbling?

My ex-wife is an alcoholic. Just before we split up, we met her best friend at a trendy restaurant in town with our two tween kids. Between the appetizer and the main course, my ex stated she had to go to the restroom. She was gone for quite a while, which wasn’t terribly unusual, but when she returned to the table…

I worked at the same chinese place as my wife. It’s a semi-basement unit in an old downtown with drop ceilings.

Oscar Goodman was born in Philadelphia. But after graduating from the University of Pennsylvania Law School, he ventured west to Sin City, where he became a high-profile lawyer representing the mob.

In this case they probably do. Especially since this is presumably a public school they were kicked out of.

Homosexual event = brunch

This was one of many things—like eating crawfish, saying “y’all,” and wearing camouflage to church—that I just assumed everyone in the world did.

It was senior year of high school and I was an 18 year theater girl/student government nerd...trying to be a cool girl...trying to be a surfer girl... trying to be anything but someone who was 5' 10", clumsy as shit, and didn’t know how to smoke out of a bong. You know how it is in Southern California. Anyways, I went…

I have a very small extended family, only seven cousins including me on both sides of the family combined. But, my mom’s college roommate married dad’s college roommate and mom married dad! So every year, the original four women and their families get together at a really rural cabin. Have up to 30 people some years…