Sure, here’s the answer:

I really hope that Top Gun Maverick eviscerates this film in a manner similar as Maverick taking out those enemy planes.

Oh you just know this whole goddamn thing will restart in a few years, when some new Sundance discovery will be tapped to direct the bigger, grittier remake of the first Jurassic Park.

The most impressive thing, to me, is somehow making special effects that look worse than the original movie.  You gotta work hard for shit to look that lousy these days.

‘the lost world’ definitely solidified to me that you never know if you’re going to like a movie until after you’ve seen the movie.

By the way, and I know the following is petty and on a level I usually don’t stoop to with films, but I really hope that Top Gun Maverick eviscerates this film in a manner similar as Maverick taking out those enemy planes.

By the way, for anyone who might know, why are they hiding now that everyone knows that Maisie Lockwood is a clone? I mean it’s not illegal and I don’t really know what the threat to her would be? Actually, wouldn’t she be a billionaire as the sole inheritor of that estate?

For some reason, it was during the trailer for this movie that this frustration hit me with the basic premise. Not the dinosaurs roaming around, but the concept that they would be an existential threat to humanity that could just not be figured out. Like if there is one thing that humanity is really good at, it is…

OMG just the 2 paragraph plot summary with a recap of the earlier films made me tired. What a mess.

Aside from the first one they all kind of blur together. I do remember after JP2 realizing for the first time that when ostensibly intelligent characters do uncharacteristically stupid shit for no reason, it’s because the filmmakers fucked up in some way.

“The old speak (and collect a paycheck)! Theaters are showing a new film, an UNNECESSARY SEQUEL with anvils of nostalgia from DR. ALAN GRANT and vapid charm from WHOEVER CHRIS PRATT IS PLAYING.

Scott Tobias himself said it was a D-:

velociraptors that can be directed by a laser pointer

“Rumor has it that Spielberg once wanted a Jurassic film to build to scenes involving dinosaurs strapped with rockets, running into battle”

THIS should be a property that gets resurrected 

god damn it’s rare you see io9 and av club united in opinion but boy-o this sounds as awful as everyone thought it was.

I forget, is it D+ or D- that’s considered “The Gentleman’s F?”

I’m just hoping this movie contains the line, “Somehow, Alan Grant has returned.”

I don’t know why but it seems like there was more than 6 of these.

Shower him with wealth and the best he comes up with is a Shining prequel? Ughhghghgh sick of this schmuck and his penis-nose.