I watched my friend’s daughter when she was about 2 or 3* (she was 99% potty trained, so whatever that is) and my friend starts rattling off little instructions and somewhere between a list of foods the kid will try to con me into providing and bedtime info she drops “Oh and when she goes to the bathroom she likes to…

I hate everything right now.

HOLY SHIT is that their defense? HER DAD SAID IT WAS COOL?

This starts off awful and then careens violently into unspeakable.

When I worked there, I had to pop in on my day off to get something, for some reason, and a woman recognized me as an employee and asked me for help. She fully acknowledged it was clear I wasn’t actually working that day but bitches need hand towels, yo!

RIGHT?! It honestly would look a lot like this, I suspect.

I thought Stefon was the wedding planner. This wedding has everything!

I would like to be on this mailing list, please.

Yep, he passed some time ago. The Briscoe/Logan (a pre-Sex and the City Chris Noth) episodes of the OG Law & Order are the very best and I will fight anyone who argues differently.

I would absolutely watch this episode. RIP, Jerry Orbach.

I worked at Target and let me tell you: people don’t even give a shit if you work there because they just want help and answers. I’d get followed into the bathroom on my breaks/lunch, which is just fucking delightful. But I’m pretty sure they would hire anyone on the spot. I was basically offered to be a store manager…

I have high hopes because RITA MORENO but dude, Pat Harrington’s body isn’t even cold.

Plus when one goes to the bathroom at least one other has to follow so you lose a lot of productivity.

YES!

I wonder if it bugs her that Jerry is actually older than she is.

They both like soup.

I thought the headline was going to be a booby joke. I’m disappointed.

But imagine how popular you’d be if you did!

Ha! Totally!

This makes soooo much sense, especially after talking to my cousin. She knew she was a girl, expressed it, and was told to stop. Hence, years of feeling shitty and confused. Kind of makes sense that she’d leave home at 18 and rarely visit, huh?