it me

i eat bread by itself because its fucking delicious you monster

Delightful.

I don’t know. When I was little, my dad was a post-doc, my mom didn’t consistently work, we were poor. We were so poor that one time my mom had a pregnancy scare and couldn’t afford a pregnancy test. Then, my dad secured a good position with tenure, my mom finished her masters and got a job. My mom pushed my dad to…

Talent and drive aside, people called that gorgeous creature *ugly*?
She’s stunning and could easily model all her own designs.

Yeah. when I say “I want shrimp cocktail” I am talking about eating shrimp till I am full. Preferably in my own home. Where no one can judge me. And I don’t care if the ocean calls and says they are running out of shrimp.

These last 18 months of his term are gonna make you feel like 2008 again.

This isn’t about you.

I don’t know, it took me years and years. I think mostly because when you tell people your period sucks, they are like “wah wah”. I switched gynos four times and spend years trying to figure out what was wrong. I have a daughter and basically my attitude is that i WILL RAIN FIRE AND BEAT ASSES to make sure this is…

I’m so sorry this happened to you! *hugs*

If you went to the bible belt at 21 and wrote that story—while explicitly admitting that you were young and naive and self-absorbed and not really thinking about things, as did the author here—I would read it. The author was young and misguided (and she says as much), but the experience helped her figure out her…

I’ve got a quarter bottle of Gaps OM scent that I just started wearing again after storing it for almost two decades.

I, too, fight the good fight in the classroom teaching cultural anthropology, and I wouldn’t dream of insulting a student’s parents/economic status/religion etc. I DO teach them critical thinking skills using anthropological topics as the examples of how to use those skills; and it’s pretty amazing (and gratifying)…

I teach evolution, and there’s often a student who’s been prepped to answer everything an evolution professor would never actually say. It’s such a letdown for them to find out that not only am I not a man, I’m also not made of straw.

Oh my god this is hilarious. I am literally one of the “liberal professors” they’re talking about, as in I literally teach diversity classes to undergrads, and you’re not allowed to say ANY of that stuff to students. You can’t say shit about their parents, their religion, or their personal opinions unless you enjoy…

A whiteness of teenage girls ordering frappuccinos.

My cat, who once opened a microwave oven while the popcorn was popping, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once destroyed a floor-to-ceiling lamp with her butt, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once fell off a bookshelf at 3 AM only to land butt-first on my face (catass…

Poor, poor hosts. Man, though: a good host is not a thing to be taken lightly. They’re a rare and precious resource.

The mother proceeds to tell my manager that I was extremely rude to them and that I lied to them about the wait time because I was “discriminating” (wat) against them.