For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

Let it snow!

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

HI I’VE NEVER LOVED ANYTHING MORE THAN THIS BYE.

“What I’ve tried to employ the female members of my family — some of who you all met and talked to and what have you — is that ... let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions.”- Stephen A. Smith

SAS is a staunch defender of Floyd Mayweather, whose domestic violence issues are well-documented.

SAS is…

Really? What’s a better punishment? We complain about mass incarceration in the abstract but want to keep everyone in prison forever in the concrete.

Abstaining from sex with clients is a solid idea for any therapist tbh

Wait, they gave Mad Max 10 nods WITHOUT nominating Theron???

Well, Mad Max did 10 getnominations — I doubt ANYONE had that pegged going into its release — so at least they too agree this movie is instant-classic awesome. It should’ve been 11, Charlize deserved to join the party, but even then, it will be a good night to pat that wonderful movie on the back. WHAT A LOVELY DAY!

Yeah, but did you ever see what happens when they let the people vote? You get the People’s Choice Awards. Have you looked at the past winners of the People’s Choice Awards? Adam Sandler has 9 all after 2000. He’s a fucking dynasty when you let the people vote.

my beautiful carrots

Kirkland tequila is 100% blue agave, I use it for margaritas (but would never admit to it).

Costco booze is made by respected boozemakers. Kirkland vodka, bourbon and scotch are made by Grey Goose, Jim Beam and Macallan.

Sophia is great.

Sophia is really good at this.

I’d send them a farewell package but I already shipped all of my dildos up to Oregon.

“inkwell is never ok”

read whatever you want man