Yes.

I know, right?

Florida, right? Stand your ground, girl... stand your motherfuckin’ ground.

Somebody hungry for a knuckle sandwich and a bottle of punch?

I’m fairly confident she got punched so hard she got knocked down and then immediately knocked up.

I don’t follow sportsball and my brother did an experiment about a decade ago. He had me, a person who plays video games, play Madden against his wife, an avid football fan who doesn’t play video games to see the outcome.

I have an idea. Let’s just let women be able to carry guns. I’m not saying women are somehow more rational than men but every night when I watch the news I see some, scratch that, several idiots with a dick shot someone senselessly. On the same broadcast I see several women beaten, missing or straight up murdered. …

I believe travel writer Johnny Jet recommends this. Losing luggage is bad enough... losing a firearm would be a PR disaster right below losing plane exploding and losing a kid.

I had a co-worker that once argued Joe Paterno should be given a pass based on his coaching record... to his his supervisor... who had been molested as a child.

It’s a car. Even if they were stealing my car I can honestly say I don’t think I would take someone’s life over my 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe.

Look, I know you’re not supposed to blame the victim here and nobody got beaten or shot so that’s one for the win column but who brings a cake on a plane? Seriously. It’s a cake. Order it at some local joint and pick it up when you get there. I’m not traveling across country with something as fragile as a cake…

Kellyanne Conway shows up daily on the morning circuit and doesn’t answer questions so much it’s an SNL character now. She’s brilliant at it. Two words: alternative facts.

“He said this is fair to young and healthy people, who can now “pick and choose” their insurance”

In a world where, Let’s Go To Prison and The Goods exist, that statement is completely untrue.

We were allowed in the house of the family who lives across the street and maybe two others I can remember. We lived in a well populated neighborhood and when you’re outside, there are witnesses. Remember, this is the mid-to-late seventies. Televisions had twelve channels, VCRs, DVDs and the internet didn’t exist. …

I’ll tell you what I tell everybody: I’ve been black a real long time and if your parents do their job they taught you how to deal with this when you were eight. I know the majority of them are just fucking idiots who parade that flag around like you would your hometeam football jersey to say where they’re from with…

My avatar when I used to play Rainbox Six Vegas was a black guy and I got called nigger constantly.

Here’s my thing: I seriously don’t think white people understand what the word ‘nigger’ means. I think they just think it’s an insult like calling someone a bitch or stupid. Even most other ethnic slurs don’t have the history the word ‘nigger’ has and the people they’re used to insult don’t have the same…

I’ve spent the last thirty years in Florida where at work I had to park next to a car with a bumper sticker that read, “If we knew they’d be such a pain in the ass we’d have picked our own cotton.” There are pickup trucks with four foot Confederate and Trump flags. I swear on my daughter’s eyes.

An unsafe abortion is an unsafe abortion regardless of where it takes place. I can’t compare it to the number of unsafe abortions in the US because, as I point out two sentences later, the US numbers are listed as negligible because the numbers here are so low they literally aren’t worth counting.