I, an asshole, was truly expecting—if not quite hoping—that one of those kids was going to get blasted in the face.

BREAKING NEWS: Mrs. Gano signed as a middle reliever for the St. Louis Cardinals.

Now I want the video of his wife plunking him on his next plate appearance.

What kind of Leave it to Beaver family is this? When I get home my wife is drinking wine and watching the Bachelor, and my kids are texting each other from their adjacent bedrooms.

Yes, but how far can he punt a kickball?

The sheer glee in that victory lap is just absolutely perfect.

it really is. My favorite part isn’t even in the video, though. It’s this...

Roberto Aguayo tried this and accidentally booted a kid right into the bumper of the SUV. Tampa Bay then traded a third rounder for him.

Did Graham Gano violate the unwritten rules of the game by slowly-trotting after a home run? MY COLUMN:

That’s the “This game needs to be over because I need to poop/Am Bored/Need a Beer.” The trot is bush league and he needs to get beaned next time through the order.

That victory jog is way too satisfying to watch.

and it’s 150 per cent that it’s not us

“There is a 150 per cent chance that my fianceé Monika and I are not involved in

He’s drunkest WHEN IT COUNTS—unlike LeBron Bell.

Sure, but I finish all my TPS reports before lunch and it’s “irresponsible” of me to down a handle of Popov.

This guy isn’t celebrating winning a championship; he’s celebrating not being a Bull.

Truly, this is the season of champions

yes but the Bulls got $3.5 million for him so in a way, they are the REAL champions

Ohhh, I see how it is. All black people who look alike, look alike to you, is that it?