Someone gave me one of these as a gag gift. I gave her a wind up fish dildo that swims towards your vag in the bath.

Taco that craps ice cream 2020

Yeah, I feel like the blondes Trump hire probably have black in the hair.

Labial splits and under cleavage are so rarely in fashion. It is so unfair. Like, those are my best features!

This gif is my everything, and sums up how I feel a lot lately. Someone posted on my FB page yesterday that ice cubes melting in your drink and the drink not overflowing proved that climate change and rising sea levels are a hoax. I made that face several times and just thought, I’m gonna let the rest of my science…

That imperative “APOLOGIZE!” and the end of Drumpf’s tweet just makes me want to scream: “FUCK YOU YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” then slam the door to my bedroom.

Just gotta - enjoy

Did Trump just request a safe space?

I’ve voted in about 20 elections in the UK. I’ve never queued, never taken more than 60 seconds.

I think they were saying “Boo-urns”!

My grandmother is an 89-year-old, black woman. She doesn’t leave the house much anymore because she’s sick a lot but she got up to vote for Obama and she’s up today to vote for Hillary. It’s a blessing to be able to watch her experience such progress.

My mother is 78 and has NEVER voted for a Democrat (much to my chagrin). This morning she was in line long before 7 a.m. (with quite a few others, she texted) in DALLAS TEXAS to vote for Hillary Clinton. Her reason? “While only a child the last time a fascist demagogue almost destroyed the world and ran his country…

The first time I got a UTI in college the very unhelpful nurse told me to just have less frequent sex. AS IF.

Is this orgy programmed to go on at Westworld every night? Whats the guest-to-host ratio? If you’re a guest at the orgy, can you get a random host to go gay if you request it? Wouldn’t there be federal laws in whatever alternate American universe this is to regulate mass robot sex?

Just like Julie Gristlewhite and Carly on Burning Love.

Guys, my (Latino) husband doesn’t know it yet because he’s not home, but our couples Halloween costume is now Nasty Woman and Bad Hombre, this nightmare election is finally giving me something useful.

Was anyone else more offended by “your husband disagrees with you”? Like, the nasty woman bit, yeah we get it Donald Trump’s an unrepentant asshole, but that just felt so much more like the type of sexism women face all the time.

“America: Singlehandedly Making Brexit Look Not So Bad On The ‘Fucking Disaster’ Scale”

Rob I will fight you.