OH. IN THE NEAR COMPLETELY WHITE CROWD, AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN WAS THE FIRST ARREST. HOW ASTONISHINGLY UNPREDICTABLE.

Lucky for this bar brawling, boob-grabbing domestic abuser that he didn’t take a knee during the anthem, or his career would be over.

A close call, I think we can all agree.

+ 1 Xanax. (damn)

• Excellence

Wow, quick start to the butthurt today.

You love Sports huh? Name two other Huey Lewis albums.

Fantastic comment. I am a divorce lawyer and have to explain to clients all the time that, although transmission of a sexually-transmitted infection in my state is grounds for recovery in a divorce, it’s basically impossible to prove transmission during the marriage (because no one gets the blood test beforehand if…

Details like that, we won’t know until this goes to court. But him saying “my life is over” doesn’t sound like this was self-defense, or that he snapped after years of abuse. I guess we’ll find out.

What if he was a sniveling, womanizing, job-not-having POS that DESRVED to be ridden daily. See how that works?

Oh come now! He’s not WILLFULLY stupid! In fact he is very smart and such a good boy! Oh yes he is!

That’s interesting, because when the Indians come to town, I wonder why my kids (who are of American Indian ancestry) have to be subjected to a team wearing racist caricature on their hats all game.

She Shookus all night long...

Well maybe he shouldn’t play dead and roll his eyes back into his head while twitching if he plans on fighting out of it, like you know keep a hand making conscious movement not flopping around like a fish.

Disgusting that the Bears would treat a team owner like this.

Donald’s a huge fan of Double Team, and Jean-Claude Van Damme is a foreigner.

He’s exactly what the Barves are trying to avoid by moving to Cobb County.

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but stereotypes are often based on a grain of truth. There are a lot of black people where, if you poison their children, they won’t think it’s fair to tell them they have to pay for the poison. Oh wait, not just black people, people in general are like that. Well, whatever.

You’re going to get a lot of idiots saying “oooh look at the grammar police... blah blah blah” but these guys are paid to write, and someone is paid to edit, so it’s fine to point out their mistakes. Deadspin is a site wholly based on professionals’ mistakes.