Thought you had a second chance and instead got thrown out at first base. Ah, good ol’ “Prom night.”

Must’ve called them a cocksucker.

Well, you probably can’t fire someone who reports to the employer that they’re leaving for treatment of a medical condition (alcoholism), but you sure as fuck can get fired for showing up hammered to work with 18-22 year-olds after having been warned about it for showing up hammered to a function for 18-22 year-olds.

Why not show the old designs too?

I’ll take the eh condom thing for uhhh 8000

Does my ex that gave me chlamydia on purpose have enough money to be worth suing?

Poor baby. He did nothing wrong and he is still apologizing for doing the wrong thing. This is such bullshit.

I bet Danny Woodhead or Peyton Hillis would have no problems getting enough carries in Chip Kelly’s offense. Just saying.

How about because running is fucking boring and stupid?

Johnny Bench is the greatest catcher who ever lived.

The saddest part of this story is where it reveals that Toyota is an ungrateful bastard. The FJ put Toyota on the map in North America then they abandoned it like Target Blue jeans after a 3rd wearing. THEN to make matters worse, they build a caricature of it and then let IT die too. Jeez Toyota.

“Taco Bell is not Mexican food”

Jason Pierre Paw

That’s where the similarities stopped.

So far I’ve tried two:

The only people who knew Cardale Jones was starting were Urban Meyer and Bill Belichick.

When Europeans got to Africa, they had the Bible and the Afircans had the land. A couple hundred years leter, the Europeans had the land and the Africans had the Bible.

Free up that right hand with this Masturbator’s Convenience Package:

BTW, no love for “Commander” Cody Carlson? Dude backed up Warren Moon for years.