Eating the whole apple, aside from the stem, is the only way to do it.

More “active” than McGahee?

*sad trombone* Oh I’m sorry, “straps”, “boot straps” was the answer we were looking for. The judges say “laces” aren’t specific enough. We hope you enjoy your lovely parting gift.

Wow, Edwards and Losman!?!? Fact: JP Losman had the best hair in the NFL.

Uh, look again. Sad.

Can we get a breakdown as to how far everyone can punt a football?

Travis Jervey, Oronde Gadsden, Trung Canidate.

Yeah, when the “goverinator” was elected and later Wesley Snipes was locked up, I assumed we were headed towards a full-blown Demolition Man dystopia. Trump’s win seems to be consistent with this path.

Tall boys of Steel Reserve.

*shoots self in chest*

Sparks!

Jesus Christ, man. There’s just some things you don’t talk about in public.

Did you know Gates played college basketball?

Man, you’re getting way too much play considering the quality of your comments. Jezzies need to work on their troll-dar.

Weird, most people have no problem riding a Siemian to a strong finish.

So they all look alike to you?

Boo

No money is at stake?

Yeah but the Jets will have to get through the Steelers first.

Was president Lincoln okay?