What a time to be alive.

If Deadspin’s gonna report on Spanish-language stories, it’d be cool if you guys had someone on staff who can speak the language instead of using Google Translate and secondhand accounts. It’s come up before in soccer articles, but this is an especially weird example. It’s not like this is a bad article or anything,…

Matheny knows a thing or two about getting hit in the face

Looking forward to the nightly Cardinals loss post....oh wait they’ve won four in a row?

So if I’m following along, Jeff Luhnow leaves STL to become GM of the Astros, but doesn’t change his password for the league-wide scouting system. Correa, on a whim, tries to log in as Luhnow, using that old password and, shockingly, it works. He then uses Luhnow’s idiocy to gain a competitive advantage. And this is a…

Will Leitch is going to bake him a cake with a hacksaw blade in it.

FAAAAAAAAAACK! FACK YOU, RAWDGAH! FACK YOU, FEDAHRAL CAWTS! PATRIOT NATION AND TAWMY BRADY WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

I like how you used quotation marks, yet neither of those phrases were actually used. Nice.

I like how you used quotation marks, yet neither of those phrases were actually used. Nice.

Not pictured- the French man’s watch now in the child’s possession

I liked this kid until I saw the hat on his head. Poor life choices.

I’m glad the medics are getting practice to prepare for the flood of Cubs fans that will jump off ledges in October.

Seriously... try to find one stat here that explains Russell’s selection.

Really? They don’t even know how to be arrogant properly.

Molina said he didn’t deserve it, they won’t complain, they’ll trumpet what a great sport he is.

Hot take: ban fan voting.

Cardinals have a legitimate gripe. Molina should be the third catcher, Piscotty is definitely a good enough OFer, and Russell making the team at SS squeezed out Diaz. Carlos Martinez is good enough to be on the team but he gets squeezed by too many relievers on the team. They only get one token rep, Carpenter who…

ugggghhhh

Hey, they stole Baltimore’s sign.

Or buy Miller Lite or PBR or regular old Budweiser or any of the other lawnmower beers that are perfectly good and don’t taste like stale beer masked with citrus.