The fact that I literally said out loud, “Thank goodness my dad got cancer during the Obamacare years” this morning is supremely fucked up.

Skipping my prom is a decision I have never once regretted.

No, parties are where you stand around eyeing the cheese and wondering whether people are judging you for reaching out to grab some for like the fifth time in a couple minutes, while you finish your glass of white wine.

Here ya go!

*I am still waiting for my last paycheck that I should have received on 3/23.

I worked at ModCloth in Pittsburgh until 3/2017, the week before the Wal Mart buy out. I’m guessing I didn’t get onto Wal Mart’s payroll in time to actually get paid.

I’m past all of this. Don’t care about Charles or Diana - they both had awful baggage in no need of a rehash. I’m only interested in the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (Will and Kate) and their very obvious love for each other.

I like uniquevintage.com quite a bit.

Couldn’t we just send all the telephone sanitizers, telemarketers and republicans to colonize the new planets, and tell them the rest of us will follow shortly?

You know, I try, but the wounded ego/guilt/sadness self-effacing whinge-fest about how SORRY they are and how they’re TRYING tends to make it not worth it. Or that’s my experience anyway.

Also please don’t assume you are a sex god because you do oral. I know what will get me off and guys be like oh you just wait until I get there and I’m like hahaha stop you’ll probably do it wrong. And they do it all wrong and I don’t come and they just can’t accept that their technique needs adjustment.

When I was watching I was the one in the theater who said that. It was such a good line and great delivery.

Octavia Spencer should win an Oscar for the “I know you probably believe that” line. For me that was the most memorable and timely moment in the whole film.

I’ve been faxing that wily bastard for the past 2 days.

Arrival is worth it IMO, and fully deserves the best picture, director and cinematography nods...it’s madness that the woman who’s on screen for the overwhelming majority of the run-time somehow isn’t nominated for her performance.

Thank you Mr. Spicer for your service. You have done an incredible service for this country by delivering a clear, unambiguous message: it’s working. If there’s one thing to take away from this “press conference” it’s that everything we’re doing, everything we are achieving together is genuinely and legitimately…

On the eve of the inauguration, I think it’s a good time to remember that under President Obama, twenty million Americans gained health insurance, cutting the percentage of uninsured Americans to single digits; same-sex marriage was legalized; DADT was repealed; combat positions were opened to women and transgender…

To be fair, I can stand my white male coworkers either, especially that one guy who goes around condescendingly telling all the women around him that they are beautiful while they try to get on with their work.

Dear god we are just so very embarrassing.