FAAAACCKKK, BAHD! SPILLED MY DOUBLE DOUBLE ALL OVER MY HORN!

Not even close. It’s where he watched the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contests.  

I just came here to read the jokes about him being murdered. 

I’m 31 and had to look up Five and Dime.. is this normal? 

I like to preach keeping your phone in your pocket and enjoying the moment.... unless some dip shit runs on the field. Thank you. 

What a dick.

Must have missed the Red Robin exit. 

I’m just excited for the Dead Letters. stooliebro69-420@yahoo.com types fucking LOVE a poorly written angry white dude email. 

When Deadspin fires up an article about your hometown.. It’s always a fucking disgrace.

In our birthing class at the hospital they were talking about the special meal we got after the baby was born. I raised my hand and asked, “So, um, can that special meal be breakfast?” My wife wasn’t happy with the question but was very happy at the answer. PANCAKES!!!!

I thought Randy staying was the best way to tank.... The news of Murray taking over has determined that I was fucking wrong.  

Don’t you see people... the Metallica video is a clue... Drew haD emergency brain surgery! WAKE UP!!!

McGuire is the kid that’s TOO smart in your grade 8 math class.. so he comes off like a fucking idiot all the time.

I recently defended Torts on one of your articles. I’m a fucking idiot.

Fair. So fucking fair. 

Not that I disagree with you.... but you have to give Torts some credit. He seems to have changed his style to a more player friendly approach. Nobody thought his time in Columbus would be anything but a disaster.

c) fuck The Cubs 

Wishing you the best, Drew. Get well soon... we need CAPS LOCK in our lives.