“If you won’t turn on your body camera, you cannot work in our city.”

It doesn’t say that he isn’t Ted Cruz...

After her whole briefing about ‘Show no emotion,’ she’s a frantic psycho by the 10th OBJECTION OBJECTION OBJECTION!!! She should have just screamed “But he’s exposing my client’s guilt your honor!!”

You can tell the defense lawyer is good because she gets visibly exasperated when her objection is overruled - all three times she raises it - then sits back down in a huff.

Or since he was driving back from Georgia without seemingly any way to track him (he hadn’t brought his phone) he could have hid it anywhere during that road trip.

I feel like if you go to your beachfront property to hide a hammer, and you’re choosing between the big, wide, expansive ocean where a hammer will pretty definitely sink, and the fireplace in your backyard, one of those is an obvious choice, and one is kind of lazy writing.

Being asked to follow the law is not harassment.

The quiz ended up saying nice things about me, so it must be wrong. 

Thumb emoji, thumb emoji, "this guy"

“The president has food poisoning, it’s coming out of both sides.”

When the said the Democrats needed a big tent, I didn’t think they meant to fumigate the White House! HEYO!

I still can’t believe the ego it takes to run in an election with no plan, no ideas, no reason except to sate their own ego.

“We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term,” Graham said.....

I know that absentee/mail-in ballots aren’t accounted for (if they even will be and if they'll change anything) but I am still weeping.

Thank you so much.  This is like therapy for me.

I’m so stressed I’m actually using my Hitachi Magic Wand on my shoulders

Guess I have to preempt Trump’s bullshit by declaring myself president as of right now.

Incentivizing child smuggling and trafficking, huh? I guess that would look something like this:

I had a brain damaged dog named Kayleigh. She was dumb but sweet. She always had a goofy smile.